I got married and how I’d do a wedding in another lifetime

We did it, we went off and got married. It was very lowkey and did not take much organising for it was just us, two witnesses at a registry office followed by afternoon tea at a hotel. I purchased a flowery satin dress in a blush pink colour and Sweep wore a suit that he already had – very untypical I know but that is what we both wanted at the time. In fact, it cost us hardly anything for the whole day since we had recently purchased some land and felt like that was more important to be frugal. A large wedding was out of the question also as we have a really, really small family and are quite introverted. We went to the registry office in Sweep’s work van decorated in ribbons, met our lovely witnesses, said our vows and then all went for cakes, scones, cocktails and tea. All back in time for my son home from school!

However, in another lifetime I’d have had a large family who would fuss and want a large wedding party to attend, I’d have tons of friends and would have spent a long time planning everything from the dress to the favours and the flowers. When I was younger I was obsessed with weddings and went to bridal fayres to try dresses on for fun, I studied floristry at an agricultural college, completed a wedding coordinator course and was convinced that was the job I wanted, a bit like J-Lo in the Wedding Planner. Funny to look back at this. 

In this other lifetime I would love a wedding by the sea, perhaps the Cornish coast or in Dorset, for there is something about the sea and drifts of pink sea thrift that I find very romantic. I’d look for large group accommodations where we could all stay, it would be child friendly and even allow the dogs to stay, after all they would be included in my dream wedding; girl dogs would be wearing flower collars and our Burt would wear a bowtie. Accommodation like party houses would allow friends and family to stay together and enjoy the wedding reception without being far away from their beds at the end of the evening so nobody would need to worry about a taxi. My son could have space to be away from it all when the noise became too much and it would be easy to look after family members who may need a rest from the long day. It would be a wonderful gathering and surrounded by gorgeous gardens where we could have our wedding photographs taken.

Having a wedding party that involves as many flowers as possible would be my dream. However, the next best thing for me is that the land that we purchased will become partly dedicated to growing cut flowers, gorgeous English flowers for other brides so I feel I have my dream in a sort of way. I attended a DIY wedding some years ago where the bride had grown her flowers in a polytunnel and it worked out so well. Seasonal flowers in jam jars, cans and bottles adorning the church and the marquee was very summery – scented Sweet Peas, Astrantia, blush roses, frothy Lady’s Mantle and Ammi with dots of pastel corn flowers.

The grounds where the wedding would be set would also have to be very flowery with deep herbaceous borders and roses scrambling up arches and arbours. Some of the gardens I visit on my travels would be perfect, summer gardens with lupins, spires of delphiniums, pink peonies and purple foxgloves; beautiful grounds for our guests to chat and have drinks from afternoon to evening. These are the items I would prioritise, the location, comfort of guests and the floral aspect. On a limited budget, thinking about what is most important to you is the best thing to do and then compromise on the rest. For instance, the cake is something I am not too bothered about, something simple and summery would be my ideal, nothing fancy. The dress too, a proper ivory wedding dress for my dream wedding (although I loved my real dress for my actual wedding) but if I’d had a large event, I still would have chosen something on the budget end, very simplistic and plain but classy. Bridesmaids dresses would be off the peg from a high street store.

There was something very liberating about the way we chose to get married but if circumstances had been different, I would have loved a larger wedding to share with other people and one where it was the whole day and evening. The thing I missed the most was having photos done of the day as I have just a few snaps. It would have been great to have those pictures within the English country garden of grand house and pictures with family members.

However, I did love our day and our two witnesses were very special people. There was no stress and the day felt so relaxed, plus we spent less than £300 with most of that the admin fees for registering the marriage and the registrar ceremony, we even had the cocktails knocked off our bill as the ones we wanted were not available and now I am selling my dress so perhaps this was the cheapest wedding ever! The most important thing is the marriage and life going forward.

*Collaborative post